Mike, 20, straight, single. Ask me anything else :3
OOOHHHHH if you and i were dating, we would have to come up with a LOTR Game of Naughty.
Everytime Sam and Frodo look at each other TOO fondly.. we kiss..
I mean.. Hi, UST, right?
Everytime they discuss the “Mines of Moria” you finger me.
Everytime someone mentions “Staff or Pointy Hat” blow you.
When they say “Baggins” its T-bagging time. ;)
When someone speaks elvish, you speak elvish on my clit. hahaha
When they first mention “THE ONE RING” you put my butt plug in.. (yes, i realize its mentioned in the opening minute.) Every mention of it after, you twist it or push it deeper.. up to you ;)
Each time Legolas has a loreal moment, you pull my hair and dry grind me from behind **UNF**
Everytime someone says “precious” my ass gets spanked XD
omg… the list can go ON and ON and ON…..
who wants to fucking play
THE WORST FEELING EVER IS WHEN YOURE SO ENTHUSIASTIC TELLING SOMEONE SOMETHING AND YOU CAN JUST PHYSICALLY FEEL THEM NOT CARING AT ALL SO YOU TRY HARDER BUT YOU JUST CANNOT GRASP THEIR ATTENTION SO YOU SLOWLY FADE OUT AND LET THEM GO BACK TO DOING WHAT THEY DO AND YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY TO TELL THEM SOMETHING YOU’RE HAPPY ABOUT
if i’m ever rich i’m gonna always leave huge tips, like 200%. that’s like the dream. having enough money to give some waitress 40 bucks extra just because she’s nice.
if barack obama does the ALS ice bucket challenge my life will be complete and he will be my favorite president of all time
im at a hotel and the people in the room next to my room started having sex and i timed it and he only lasted for 54 seconds and i think they can hear me laughing now
UPDATE: they just banged on the wall and it only made me laugh harder because dude you can bang a wall but not your girlfriend
^^^^ I’m dead!!!!!! Quote of the year
Fastest way to get through a border patrol checkpoint
are you fuckingkidding me
He could have had like gallons of cocaine in the back like damn Jesus saves